You scared me

Story Behind the Work

I was hiking and getting ready to startle my hiking partner when a lizard suddenly darted out of the grass and scared us both. 🦎

My husband, who is also my hiking partner, is always playing pranks on me, so that day I finally decided to get him back. But before I could spring my surprise, a lizard beat me to it. The joke was on both of us: I was ready to scare him, he was about to be scared, and then we both froze.

This funny little incident happened a month ago, and I never thought it would become the subject of a piece. But while hiking yesterday, a fallen leaf unexpectedly brought that lizard back to mind. That was how You Scared Me came to be.

Is there any connection between a fallen leaf and a lizard? No.

But why does there have to be?

We seem to have an instinctive obsession with cause and effect. The brain loves weaving fragments of information into a coherent narrative because it gives us a reassuring sense of order and control. Films, novels, and even our memories tend to follow this linear logic, reaching for an ending that may be open-ended but still feels contained.

I genuinely enjoy wandering through thoughts that have no clear logic and resist being summed up. My hiking partner calls it my “literature of nonsense”: he can never tell what I am trying to say or where the point is. My mind leaps and connects across different moments and places. Things do not always need to be linked by logic; sometimes they are connected only by an undercurrent of feeling.

Of course, communicating with people through these wandering associations can be a disaster. Work and daily life keep reminding us that skillful communication prevents confusion and makes things more efficient.

“What are you trying to say? Can you get to the point?”

“What is your goal, and what is the plan?”

Having an ENTJ Aquarius for a husband can be deeply annoying. Still, I have to admit that he taught me how to get things done and communicate efficiently. In return, that leaves me more time to wander and develop my own “nonsense literature.”

I simply want to feel without overexplaining, and to express without forcing everything into a conclusion. That is all.

As for the colors, perhaps I was influenced by the traditional Chinese folk toys I bought recently. I used to think they looked terribly old-fashioned. I cannot explain what changed, but suddenly I fell in love with their colors.

I also shared this piece on Reddit, where you can read the discussion around its creation.